Amy G. Casey

I woke up a couple of days ago to an amazing and disorienting sight – the big, almost-full moon was shining right in my face through my bedroom window. You know how moonlight can be so bright that you’re not sure if it’s really daylight? Once I got used to the brightness, I relaxed and bathed in the moonlight.

But the truly amazing thing is that my friend Michelle had a vision during a Circle of Light a couple of weeks ago, predicting this exact thing. She saw me facing the moon, with my face lit up, supported by the connection.

When I told her about my experience, she sent me these beautiful lines:

I woke up this morning worrying – I think I was worrying in my dreams. Waking up like this used to be a common occurrence, but I thought I had my worrying tendencies under control. I guess the worry snuck in when I wasn’t paying attention…

I read a wonderful book about how to worry less. It’s called “Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway” by Susan J. Jeffers. We’re not talking about the real fear you feel in a dangerous situation. These are fears that live in your mind – spinning around until they become a part of your everyday life – diminishing your joy bit by bit.

Jeffers guides you through some simple processes to get to the other side of crazy. And – they work! One of her techniques is to deeply feel the worst case outcome of your worst fear. It might be awful – really horrible. And – you find out that you don’t die. That you probably could live through your worst fear if it did come to pass – which it most likely won’t.

That alone is amazing. The energy you used to spend on this constant worry can now be turned to something else. And just like with any habit, it’s a good idea to replace it with something else, or you might just slip back into it. But I wanted to take it further, to turn that depleted energy of worry into a machine for happiness.

Meditation is my method, so I chose to turn the scary scenarios of my worry into a platform for transformation. My biggest worry was that my husband would die. At times I was convinced of it happening, and felt my own grief at the news. It did make me feel kind of crazy sometimes. If that energy was having that effect on me, what was it doing to him? I know as a kid the drain that my mother’s worry was on me. I felt responsible for her obsessive focus on imminent danger and death. It surrounded me with fear.

So, in meditation I began to picture a time when my husband was happy, when he was filled with what makes him whole. And I focused on seeing him that way and how it felt. I breathed out love toward him, surrounding him with light and lifting him up in joy. This practice makes me so happy that I easily slip into seeing myself in the same light and love.

The more I practice, the less I worry. And the energy of fear dissipates and becomes peace.

Please enjoy this meditation as a first step to transforming worry to peace:

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I knew this film might be hard to watch, and it was. But I loved it and highly recommend it. Jeff Bridges unflinchingly portrays the brutal reality of life as an alcoholic. The ugly truth is that an addict constantly makes a choice – between the people he loves and his addiction.

It looked to me like Jeff Bridges’ character, Bad Blake, had hit bottom at one point in the film after an accident left his body broken. But hurting himself wasn’t enough. It took hurting someone he loved to let him see how low he was, that he needed help.

The story is really about redemption – for me it validates that undying spark of light within  us that wants to shine, even when we don’t want to let it. I’ve seen this transformation in my father – like Bad Blake in the movie, he was a musician, and a heavy smoker and drinker. That life seemed glamorous for awhile, until he realized that he had to have a bottle  just to make it through the day. He hit bottom when I was a teenager,  when he finally went to rehab.  He told me, “Ames, I’m never gonna drink again.” I didn’t believe him.

But he showed me the strength he found inside, and has lived up to his word. I’m  grateful that he made that decision to live and become a different man – he’s been clean and sober now for decades. His choices left a lot of damage in his wake. Bad Blake sums it up in the song “Somebody Else” on the Crazy Heart soundtrack:

“I used to be somebody, now I am somebody else, who I’ll be tomorrow, is anybody’s guess… Now that I’m a brand-new man, you belong to someone else.”

Redemption was a choice for Bad Blake and for my dad – one that takes tremendous strength. I consider my father’s redemption one of the miracles in my life. Thanks, Dad, for choosing the people you love.

In a long meeting today, I realized I was fiddling with the hem of my blouse.  I was a little embarrassed – I felt like I was caught doodling or daydreaming. Then I noticed almost everyone else in the room was twitchy in their own way – bopping a leg up and down, twirling a pen, or running a hand through their hair.

We all seem to do it – little nervous habits. But we don’t usually call that behavior anxiety. It’s just twitchiness, right?

Well… it really is a low-level anxiety. The fidgeting and twitching are ways to move anxiety through your body. The reasons for your anxiety could be anything – worrying about what you’re going to say, about making a decision, about how you look, or what’s going on in the head of your client across the room.

In my case, my fidgeting and then worrying about my fidgeting made me lose focus on what was happening in the meeting. Then I was wondering who noticed… I needed to get my head back in the game.

I’ve gathered a bunch of techniques to help me focus again. First – sit up instead of slumping in the chair. Then, start some deep, regular breathing (discreetly – not huge gulps of air and loud exhales). Relax – your mind can’t concentrate on the present if your body is tense and twitchy. Focus on the speaker – really put your energy into listening to what is happening, without making judgments about if it’s right or wrong.  Finally, think about whether you need to reply, react, or just keep listening. When you’re twitchy, you want to react. You may think you always need to agree or disagree, or to say something just to get noticed. When you’re relaxed and focused, your mind is free to make other decisions – like continuing to listen, asking a relevant question, or asking another person for their input.

Keep in mind – this takes practice! In my next meeting, I’m going to start the slow breathing before I go into the room…

(Another dispatch from vacation last week…)

“Go placidly amid the noise and hast and remember what peace there may be in silence.”
- From “Desiderata” by Max Ehrmann

Today I was blessed with the amazing opportunity to kayak in the ocean. Having only recently overcome my extreme fear of water, this alone was a big deal for me. But the real grace was leaving the noise of the bay to float around a mangrove thicket full of birds. I could hear the surf behind me, and only the noise of the animals in the mangroves and the slap of the water on my kayak. A silent, floating meditation.

(Written on paper last week as I was “unwired” at the beach…)

In a sea kayak for the first time, and the dolphins were all around us! Joan was whooping with joy, and even David, who is usually reserved, was grinning from ear to ear and talking to the dolphins. I didn’t really get it until a dolphin swam right next to boat – so close I could touch it! Then I was whooping, too – I have no idea what was coming out of my mouth, but I was so excited I got a little short of breath, I feltso overwhelmed. Never did I expect myself to react that way – I’m usually quiet and calm around animals, but the dolphins’ energy was unlike anything I have ever encountered. They emanate a high vibration of joy. What can you do but join in?

As we paddled around, my friends insisted they were playing with us, but I wasn’t convinced at first.  But after a while, I realized that they were weaving between our three kayaks, sometimes surfing on our bows when we were moving fast. They were having fun with us having fun.

Thanksgiving gives us a whole day to focus just on gratitude. For me, gratitude is where it all starts – balance, peace, freedom, joy, and most of all, love.

I invite you to start this Thanksgiving to thank the people in your life for their love and companionship. To give thanks for the food you eat and the place you live. For beauty in all its forms. For the pets that love you. For the good times and the tough times and the lessons you’ve learned. With gratitude, hug those you love, starting with yourself.

Then… see if you can make a habit of it.

I learned to do this on a twice-daily basis when I most needed it in my life – and when it was most difficult. I felt that I had no control, that things were spiraling downward. I was constantly worried about health issues, finances, work, relationships. So what did I have to celebrate?

That was the challenge, and it might be for you, too.

So start small. I started by focusing on gratitude when I woke up in the morning and when I went to bed at night. When I gave thanks for a roof over my head and love in my life, I realized I had much more to be grateful for than I thought.

Remember, this is fun, a celebration – approach it with a sense of humor. It’s okay to be grateful for a great pair of shoes or that attractive person you met today.

Once you open the door to gratitude, let its beautiful energy surround you and lift you up.

In this short podcast, I talk about finding your way the way the animals do – by finding the path of least resistance…

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The Staple Singers had some wise advice in their songs that’s still very relevant today. Back in 1973, their song “Be What You Are” cautions against living beyond your means – just be what you are.

I’m not trying to tell you how to do it ·
I’m only saying put some thought into it ·
Be what you are, my friend ·
And live the life

The Staple Singers